![]() ![]() We have to keep this show some sort of PG. Alex: H-hey! Cut it out! I’m up! I’m up! Stop! Kaylee: Good morning, sleeping beauty! God, I love your cute laugh! Makes me feel… Alex: Hol’ up! Watch what you say here. Kaylee: Alex, you’re lucky I have fun with this. Kaylee: Hey, D, is Alex… Dwight: You already know what he did last night. Alex: Fine by me! Act 3 Dwight: Good Lord. Moment I hear you bark at the TV, you’re headed upstairs. Just keep the volume down and no shouting. Dwight: I guess there’s no stopping this. You serious right now? Alex: I’m gonna get good if it kills me. ![]() I know how to put a smile on that face by force! Alex: I got nothing important going on at school tomorrow, so I’m gonna stay up for this. Bernice: Tough break getting your ass handed to ya there. Dwight: Anyone here need a ride? Kaylee: I’m good. Miss Morgen is threatening us with detention if we sleep through it. We have that dumb ass assembly tomorrow, too. I want a rematch! Dwight: No can do, dude. Oh, she hated that! Alex: That doesn’t matter to me. I’ve been hanging out at his place and playing this with him and some buddies since 7th grade. He showed me how to really thump ass in the game. How in the holy mother of fu- Tyrell: Oh, you forgot to tell him the truth, D? Alex: Say what? Dwight: This is Tyrell’s favorite game. DO NOT BREAK MY FA- Edgar: You broke his face? Dwight: Game set and match, Al. You suck at this! Alex: I can beat him! Just give me a second! Dwight: Time’s up, skank! Now to break that face! Others except Alex: Break his face! Break his face! Break his face! Alex: No no no! Don’t do it. I’m Tiki! Alex: Molotov’s my guy! Dwight: Take that monkey to the face, chump! Alex: Ah! What the f*ck?! He’s kicking my ass! Dwight: You know it, Al! Alex: Balls! Dwight: Pain train’s coming back around, bitch! Morgan: Damn, dude. Dwight, haven’t you and Alex not fought yet? Dwight: Somehow, you’re right! Al, it’s our time to shine. Annie: Well, that makes everyone having a match against each other so far. Kaylee: And with Tyrell helping us unlock the other characters, now it’s more fun! Tyrell: You’re welcome, shortie. Paul: The sheer intensity of the beatings in this game is what makes it worthwhile. I’m the dude that looks like Heavy from TF2! Morgan: His name’s Molotov. Dwight: Ya know what? I’m down with that. Morgan: Why unlock the characters? Let’s just play with what we have. Act 2 Dwight: Son of a bitch! Alex: Dude, we haven’t even gotten to play yet! Don’t break that! Kaylee: Here… Slam this! Dwight: I’m fine. Now, let’s get home and break this bad boy in. Edgar: So, nobody’s played this game before? How do we unlock the characters? Dwight: Judging by how it’s a fighting game, probably play through the game and unlock them by winning. Arrogant? Because you’re always playing a video game? I don’t ever see you without a controller in your hands! I mean, when’s the last time you went bowling with us? Bernice: We haven’t been bowling since November, dude. Alex: What makes you so sure of that, Mr. Alex: So, whose getting their ass thumped first? Dwight: Watch it be you. ![]() Clerk: You don’t know what a real game is! EA is corporate trash! I wish I had friends. Clerk: You kids are better off playing Mortal Kombat! Dwight: We already have that. Don’t trouble me for my freedom of speech! Alex: Here’s the cash for the game! We good? Yeah? Cool. Edgar: You call pumping out the same schlock yearly “doing no wrong”? Clerk: You call yourself a gamer? You look like you should be studying for a math test! Alex: Do you want the sale or not? Clerk: Hey, I’m just giving my opinion here, Mac. Believe it or not, it’s actually a stellar game… compared to the third R2R game. EA’s shameless attempt to copy Midway’s Ready 2 Rumble Boxing. Alex: Enough! Come on! We should find something good! Kaylee: How about this one, babe? Edgar: Facebreaker? Dwight: Looks kinda like a Ready 2 Rumble clone. We have the first amendment! Nothing like that can ever happen here. Dwight: What? You mean like forcing somebody to shut up if you disagree with what you say? Bernice, this is America. Bernice: Yikes! The Salem Witch Trial! Imagine if something like that happened nowadays. Alex: I say this is a call to celebrate! We’ll find a new game for the PS3 and play the ever-loving crap out of it tonight! Dwight: PS3? You sure? You’re more than welcome to get a game for the PS2. To see Patrice’s smug face look so defeated was just as sweet as being on Let There Be Dumbasses! Morgan: And how Brady tried to start the teasing again and everyone just seemed to tune him out? That was the cherry on top for me. ![]()
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